Nice one, Lululemon
"Limited quantities available on April 1." Ahem.
April 1, 2008
"Limited quantities available on April 1." Ahem.
November 22, 2007
Get off my lawn
The buses are cancelled today all over the GTA.
In my day, the buses weren't cancelled unless there was a foot of snow on the ground! And even then, my mom would drive me to school.
August 31, 2007
Before the caffeine kicks in
The name on my bag of ground coffee reads "Hava Java" and every time I see the bag, Hava Nagila starts playing in my head.
Coffee's ready...
August 21, 2007
I <3 my Camelbak
Originally I bought a Nalgene OTG bottle, without doing any research. When I got home, I read this on their site:
"So, what we're saying is enjoy the indestructible quality of the bottle, enjoy your liquids without the "dreaded" plastic taste & smell, enjoy the fact that this quality bottle was manufactured in the USA, but don't put it upside down in your backpack."
Uhhh, if I designed a water bottle and it LEAKED, it should be straight back to the drawing board. A slight design flaw, don't you think?
I took it straight back to the store and exchanged for a Camelbak. You don't even need to tilt it to drink, eliminating spinning class showers...and it looks not much bigger than my old 500mL bottle but actually holds more than 750mL, so I get an extra 2 cups of water a day without realizing it.
March 19, 2007
That's gross!
Why is it that soy milk always goes bad long before the expiry date?! I just had to scrape out the carton with a spoon!
March 14, 2007
Pokey poke poke?
Got pokey nipples at the gym? Apparently Nippits will keep your pair of eyeball stabbers under control. If you're really self conscious about that kind of thing.
January 1, 2007
Quota fulfilled
First day of 2007, I get my movie watching quota out of the way. Actually, I'm going to double my total from 2006, since OoTP comes out this year.
October 9, 2006
Wise words
"Chocolate is terrible. It's nasty, but the worst part is people always try and stuff it down your throat because they just can't believe you don't like it." ---Morgan Webb
August 28, 2006
Skeered
These guys used to scare the crap out of me as a kid. When I think about YIP YIP YIP I still get a severe case of heebie-jeebies.
August 5, 2006
I lurve cheap knockoffs
June 22, 2006
2pm - poop time
There's a chick at work who likes to micromanage time in the appointment book - she schedules stuff to do for every 30 minute slot. "CALLS" "DESK" "REFERRALS" etc. I couldn't care less if that's what floats her boat, but she has the nerve to write similar schedules for everyone else, and she's not the manager, just insane.
Yesterday, I changed one of her notes to read "POOP". Just to see if she'd notice. I don't think she got it because at 2pm she wasn't in the washroom.
December 3, 2005
Quick thoughts about Hong Kong
• the average girl has thighs that are about the same circumference as my upper arm. And about muscle tone as a pillow. For the love of jeebus, EAT SOMETHING!
• Women's Street is awesome. Cheap and/or counterfeit stuff is so much more fun to look at than the ridiculously priced genuine articles.
• I can't believe that you can get full cell phone coverage, while on a boat, when there are no visible signs of civilization nearby.
• no one has heard of whole grains, sandwich bread is whiter than death, and there are very few vegetables to be had with restaurant meals.
• stop shoving menus in my face as I walk down the street. If I want to patronize your establishment, I'll go in.
"Have a lice day!"
October 17, 2005
Trekking across Canada
Greg and I had a really busy day yesterday, hitting 4 provinces (New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Quebec and Ontario) and met Babs at Tim Horton's and then my friend Chris and his gf for lunch in NS. Then we flew out of Moncton to Montreal, then finally back to TO.
June 22, 2005
Martini Question
Which kind of martini shaker is more authentic, and why?
May 27, 2005
Spam worth a mention
I know some people get some really amusing spam, but I am stuck with the usual penis enlargment Nigerian scam bullshit. However, this one caught my eye:
But, zorbs, dingleberries can shoot away if they're ungrateful slobs..
I love the word dingleberry.
May 19, 2005
Greeny Goodness
New layout - art by the amazing Kurt Halsey.
May 7, 2005
Feeling old
I was reminiscing about my OAC year in high school, and the whole class looked at me quizzically and asked, "what's that?"
May 4, 2005
Proof positive
There is no such thing as a good looking Asian guy.
May 3, 2005
Nice thought
Where in suburbia are you going to off-road though?
April 18, 2005
Flickr kicks ass
Hi zorbs!You may have heard on the grapevine that we planned to
reward our dear Flickr members who bought a Pro Account in
the early days. Well, it's true! And since you're one of
those lovely people, here's a little something to say YOU
ROCK!1. Double what you paid for!
Your original 1 year pro account has been doubled to
2 years, and your new expiry date is Nov 13, 2006.2. More capacity!
Now you can upload 2 GB per month.3. 2 free Pro Accounts to give away to your friends!
This won't be activated for a day or two, but when it
is, you'll see a note on your home page telling you
what to do.Thank you so much for putting your money where your mouth
is and supporting us, even while we're in beta. Your
generosity and cold, hard cash helped us get where we are
today.Kind regards,
The Flickreenies.
April 15, 2005
Pre-emptive
I trim my toenails and fingernails before I go to the salon, because the esthetician never trims them down to the fingertip the way I like. However, I do not see the purpose of people getting in shape before joining a gym, or washing and styling their hair before getting it cut/coloured.
***
There are guys wielding chainsaws in the backyard. Do not mess with guys wielding chainsaws.
April 2, 2005
Neato things
• Nike Free shoes
• Kurt Halsey's art
• All-spinning Quad Gym in T.O.
• Transparent screens
March 29, 2005
Low cut shoes
Is toe cleavage really that bad? I mean, I let it all hang out when I'm wearing open toed shoes.
March 23, 2005
About freakin' time
I finally rrrolled up the rim to get a free coffee. Hurray! Why can't Tim's add a few million more food prizes and have every cup a winner like Country Style? People would be a lot less pissed off and I'm sure it wouldn't cost the company an arm and a leg to implement, either.
March 22, 2005
Sick of it
Good lord, I need a new layout. Remember the good ol' days when I'd churn out a new design every month?
update: refresh, refresh!
March 13, 2005
T-bird
My sweetie made Thunderbird go on my puter! He is so wonderful.
March 9, 2005
Thinking
That the coffee cup I threw out last Saturday without Rrrolling up the rim probably was a grand prize winner.
March 4, 2005
The one thing that made me laugh today
Question: What's a nubian?
Answer: it's like a lesbian....only new at it...
February 28, 2005
1985, I was 7
This picture, taken after reading this article, takes me right back to 1985.
February 23, 2005
Made up word of the day
Apostrocatastrophe
"Oh shit, I committed an apostrocatastrophe!"
Learn how to use your apostrophe's already! <---- sic sic sic
February 20, 2005
Happy happy joy joy
On Friday night, I was in the mood for some Ren & Stimpy, and popped the Ren & Stimp-a-thon, originally aired August 1993 into the VCR. Needless to say, the cassette was fucked. So, I am the proud owner of R&S uncut on DVD.
This weekend was really fun. On Saturday night, we went bowling at Lucky Strike Lanes which is located in the Vaughan Mills mall. If you remember bowling as a 10 year old in a stinky, smoky alley filled with people with mullets and acid wash jeans, this is definitely a pleasant change. Swank leather couches, waitresses in short skirts and 80's music made it really fun. Afterwards (I won the best of 3, have to brag, hee hee hee!) we went across the hall to the NASCAR speedpark which is like Dave & Busters with a racing theme, and took a ride on the indoor go karts.
I am starving now so I am going to eat my Congee Wong leftovers from last night and laugh my ass off with some Ren & Stimpy action.
February 5, 2005
hoo a diddy diddy dum diddy doo
Greg and I were in the car, in Chinatown, in search of some crispy spicy beef.
Me: If I see Meredith, I'm going to roll down the window and yell.
And not a minute after that, there she was, walking down the street.
January 10, 2005
Funny kind of day
I'm just full o' funnay today!
^^ package arrived from Amanda!
• Google Blog lays smackdown over polarmabears.
• Spoof of Ashlee Simpson show.
• "I can only speculate as to why Anna Kournikova would be checking out her vagina in public, but it probably has to do with Enrique Iglesias' terribly unsanitary genitalia. I don't want to start any rumors, but I hear he has 13 STD's, never showers, and always walks pantless through the local landfill."
December 1, 2004
kisskisskiss
I want to listen to sappy love songs all day because my boyfriend is so damn wonderful. :love
November 14, 2004
Gone? Forgotten?
Products that I really liked but appear to be discontinued:
Clairol Herbal Essences Intensive Blends Conditioning Balm
Clairol Herbal Essences Intensive Blends Leave-In Conditioner (damn you Clairol!!)
Downy Wrinkle Releaser
black thong pantiliners
edit: The Canadian sites for every product except the wrinkle releaser still lists them as available, especially the black thong pantiliners "ONLY available in Canada!" Where, OH WHERE are they?
October 24, 2004
warm and fuzzies
I have the most wonderful boyfriend in the WHOLE WORLD!
October 16, 2004
Denser than packing foam
I read the phrase "help the Browns reach the Superbowl" in dooce's mega-poop extravaganza yesterday and I didn't realize until now that they weren't talking about football.
October 10, 2004
Coffee Conspiracy
Tim Hortons claims that their coffee contains no additives, but I think I've figured out the secret.
In order to cut down on sugar and calories, I now get my Timmy's with a single cream & sugar instead of double-double. And the coffee, while still very tasty, seems to lack the kick of the double-double.
So, could it be that while the coffee is pure, the addictive crack lies in the cream and sugar?
Or I could just be a sugar addict. :caffeine
October 8, 2004
Need/Want
Things I need:
- new Nike Shox
- box of contact lenses
- shave gel
- a car wash
Things I want:
- everything from Victoria's Secret
- lip service patent leather pantz0rs
- a new job
At least on the job front, the aerobics coordinator at my gym called yesterday and wants to hire me for a regular teachign position and is looking for a spot to start a class for me. I don't want to teach there 5 days a week or anything, I just want a) at least 2 classes a week @ $25/class to offset the $38.47 monthly fee, or b) one class a week and a free membership. Either way, I just want to get back some of the $$$ I've spent on gym memberships over the years.
PS: I'm lurving X-entertainment.
September 22, 2004
j00 know what?
I have not made a spork meet human flesh in a very long time. Too long.
Run, run for your lives! (and protect your bits) :spork
edit: I keep talking about the things I haven't done lately...so what have I been doing? Computer, eat, sleep, pho, teach piano, gym, visit a certain someone...rinse and repeat.
September 21, 2004
Priority change
September 14, 2004
Atomic Corn Poopie
Why is it that corn kernels come back out the other end whole, despite the fact that you chew before swallowing?
Music: Dope - Die Motherfucker Die
September 6, 2004
Weekend adventures
I am not feeling particularly verbose today but I'll do my best.
Introduced Greg to the wonders of BBQ pr0k flied lice and crispy spicy beef at Kom Jug, dropped my car off at home and headed up to North Bay where there is not much to do besides chill out on the beach by Lake Nipissing, drink vodka coolers, eat junk food, and watch hockey in a craptastic motel room that had random hairs and dead spiders in a gigantic hot tub. It was just really nice to get away from the usual stuff if only for 1 day.
For more pictures, see teh moblog.
August 24, 2004
Sometimes I don't feel fresh
For those of you in long term relationships, how do you keep your relationship fresh?
August 14, 2004
VS shopping spree?
To the person who sent me $50 US "just because"....HOLY SHIT! and thank you!!!!
July 31, 2004
Today's Horoscope
Gemini (May 21 — June 21)
When your situation seems hopeless and you are convinced that it lies beyond the power of any natural force to amend, something within you awaits the arrival of a deus ex machina. Any moment now you will make a pivotal discovery that will really set you free.
Yeah? I'm waiting...
update: I just read over at Mischiefgurl's that tonight marks the 2nd full moon this month - a blue moon. You are supposed to go outside and make a wish. I think I will - what have I got to lose?
May 28, 2004
Dual function
Sure gives new meaning to the words shoe fetish. Not sure if I'm supposed to wear these or stick them in my ass.
May 17, 2004
bird bathroom
For some reason, my mom's car (a nice shade of jade green) is a veritable bird bathroom, even though she parks in the garage mostly. My car, on the other hand, is silver and basically never sees the great indoors and only gets the odd poop (the usual amount expected for a car to gather)
Mom's car has at least 5-6 blurps on the hood currently.
Do particular colours of cars attract bird shit?
Oh, and speaking of bird shit, is it true that it's acidic and will eat your paint job if you don't wash it off immediately?
May 13, 2004
Fancy meeting you here
So this morning I heard a clanking sound while driving, and there was the biggest mother of all nails in the tire. I immediately called to make an appointment to have it fixed, but was silly enough to take the highway there. Someone passing me yelled "You have a flat!!" at the exact moment I smelled burning rubber. So I pulled over, and had my car towed to the dealership (a 5 min drive away - I had almost made it there) Thank you, cell phone and CAA.
Tire fixed, $260 poorer, I resume my journey home when someone in a passing car again yells at me. I'm thinking "what the fuck is wrong now?!" and I look up and it's Andrew and Chris on their way out of town to Ottawa. Fancy meeting them there on the big ol' DVP.
It's been a totally wacky day. And I haven't even started work yet. Eeep.
March 31, 2004
cow knuckles
I am all about the pho lately. $5.50 for a bowl larger than your head at Saigon Palace. I tried to make my own fish ball pho today. I got bean sprouts, ho-fun noodles, Thai basil, sriracha hot sauce. Aside from the soup missing the subtle flavours of beef knuckle and star anise, it was pretty good.
Damn, I'm hungry again.
March 30, 2004
You know it's spring when...
ShrinkingGurl says she knows it's spring when there are robins in the backyard.
I know it's spring when...
there are worms wriggling in the rain all over the soaked driveway. yum yum yum!
March 19, 2004
I got a Mac!
March 2, 2004
Damn those animal hugging veggies
That's what PETA gets for sending me snail mail spam with postage prepaid envelopes. :evilgrin
February 22, 2004
ha, sucka!
So yesterday I'm driving on a one-lane-in-each-direction road, about to make a left (gray rectangle) into a parking lot. A minivan driver who was in such a hurry to go somewhere that he couldn't wait the extra 3 seconds for me to turn, decided to detour around me (red squiggly), onto the sidewalk and completely flattened the side of his van against the stone wall. It took every last bit of restraint in me not to go over and point and laugh in the driver's face. Ever wish someone who was tailgating you on the highway, then cut you off, would drive straight into the ditch? This was almost as satisfying.
February 1, 2004
Friends
All my friends are cool. You know who you are.
Awww, now I feel all warm and fuzzy. :love
January 28, 2004
Kom Jugging
I'm having dinner with Meredi tonight.
January 24, 2004
Geek Toys
I am posting this entry with Andrew's iPaq. Typing is very slow.
January 21, 2004
Warm Hands
Instant hand warmers are a remarkably simple yet effective work of chemistry. Ain't science great sometimes?
December 12, 2003
Evil Twin
This is the older and bigger and more evil twin brother to the pepper that was in my Kung Pao chicken. I ate the smaller one accidentally, thinking that it was a sweet red pepper. Ow ow ow. :cow juice to the rescue!
December 8, 2003
Wonk Boxes Galore
I was driving down Spadina on my way to Kensington Market on Saturday when I spied Accordion Guy walking down the street. Mind you, I have never met the guy and I only know him from the many pictures posted around the intarweb. But I rolled down my window and yelled "HEY ACCORDION GUY! I'M ZORBS!!" He asked if I was going to the big par-tay. No, I wasn't, but I returned to the geekhaus and Steph was frying mountains of falafel, in preparation for the same party.
The blogosphere is really very small.
November 26, 2003
Christmas card exchange 2003
If anyone wants to exchange Christmas cards with me, please drop me a line with your name and snail mail address.
October 29, 2003
20 000 Clicks
September 2, 2003
Corporate whore
On Saturday, I spied this really classy Starbucks location that I'd never been to before, located in the old Albert Britnell bookstore on Yonge Street, just next to the reference library. It was one of those old fashioned stores with heavy wooden shelves, and echoey marble floors. Starbucks has tried to maintain the old-fashioned feel of the place by keeping the original fixtures, but you can't help feeling like such a corporate whore sitting there sipping your grande non-fat latte.
Later, Dan and I concocted oh so yummy cow pie :cow (aka Shepherd's Pie) with Bisquick biscuits.
After dinner, I went to meet the infamous grapes from irc and hung out there until 11-ish.
And that was how my oh-so-exciting Labour Day weekend ended.
And because Dan hates it, I'm going to complain about how nasty my hair looks today.
MY HAIR LOOKS LIKE POO!!!!
I'll go shower now.
August 8, 2003
Princess and the Pea
My new mattress is gi-normously fl00ffy. You can't see the headboard at all now, compared to this old picture. Look at the amount of headboard visible to see the difference.
August 5, 2003
He's gone too
Last night, I went to see my oldest friend, CJB, before he goes out east for university next week. His parents moved their home base out to NB as well, so I am feeling sad not knowing when I will see him again, it might not be for years. :frown
August 1, 2003
Left Out
Do any of you gwai lo feel out of place when going to a Chinese mall or restaurant? Tonight Vin and I went to Congee Wong for dinner, had juuuuust enough cash to pay for dinner, so we paid and ran out like the place was on fire.
Afterwards, I went to teach.
"AGGGH! there's an earwig!" screamed my student.
"Well, go get rid of it." said I.
"No!"
"Fine, get me a Kleenex."
I then crawled under her grand piano and caught the bugger then gave it a burial at sea.
"That's not in my job description."
July 27, 2003
Violence is Fun
I have weird friends...and weirder ex-students :devil
July 24, 2003
More Adventures in Helltown
July 13, 2003
Zip it
Today at church B had just returned from going up to the front to sing the psalm when I noticed something not-quite-right.
"psst!!" I hissed, making a subtle "pull it up" gesture.
Later, at the gym, a guy who was also at Mass said to me, "So you were on zipper patrol this morning, huh?"
I always find it to be a moral dilemma whether it's more embarrassing to tell a person that their fly is unzipped or to let them walk around with it wide open.
What would you do?
July 5, 2003
For a good laugh
Presenting...the friendly neighbourhood Ghetto Church! :rollseyes
July 3, 2003
ghetto is as ghetto does
OK, here's a new layout.
Today I went to a church to practice for a wedding. (that will take place on Saturday) The cantor described the place as 'ghetto'. The strangest thing is that I've always thought this church looked really nice from the street. It has 4 white columns outside and looks somewhat like a mansion. But the inside...oh god...it had orange shag carpeting. And a sound system that was so horrid, it would make Andrew scream for mercy. Even the one redeeming semi-cool factor - a slide room painted black with a large translucent projection screen covering one wall was kind of sleazy - when the slide projector was on, the fact that you could see silhouettes in the main sanctuary reminded me of a 25 cent peep show: pop in the coins, the lights turn on and the screen raises to show the nekkid dancing chick.
I will get some pictures of this place before the wedding. Because you have to see it to believe it.
June 25, 2003
Good times on irc
* Zorbs feels sick to her stomach
[Zorbs] uggggh
* Methos2 goes to hug zorbs and then knees her in the stomach
[Methos2] feel better now? :)
* Zorbs pukes in Methos' coffee
[Zorbs] indeed
[Methos2] aah, bitch...my coffee!
[Zorbs] you kneed me in the stomach, you a beeotch
-------
* Zorbs deletes viagra spam
[Zorbs] how do they know that my dick is small as well as floppy?
* Zorbs cries
[emi] and you are losing hair zorbs
[Zorbs] every day in the shower!
[emi] yes!
[emi] and you need a new mortgage!
* Zorbs puts on a hat to hide the bald spots
[emi] and you need to last longer in bed!
[emi] and you need bigger breasts!
[Zorbs] they try to sell me the weight loss pills too
* Methos2 cries...apparently I'm paying to much for dildos.
June 17, 2003
Lost in the Woods
Dan, Andrew and I went geocaching today. We didn't manage to find the cache but we saw some nice scenery that's near my house that I didn't know about and had a nice sweaty hike and that's what counts, right?
...and acquired a mosquito bite on my quad, I *had* to get bitten by a gourmet mosquito, sheesh!
June 14, 2003
It's a bright June afternoon
Went to the ball game. Caught some rays and a bit of a nice tan. Mom took Dad and I out to dinner at Benihana for Father's Day and my b-day, respectively. Saw Eric Hinske having dinner there, but we were nice little fans and let him eat in peace. Drank a cocktail with sake and peach schnapps. It was tasty but shit, it was strong. Now I'm not amused about the fact that I have to choose songs for church tomorrow while hosed. :dead
June 3, 2003
As Random As It Gets
Quote of the day:
"The Queen celebrates 50 years on the throne, maybe some prune juice would help."
Thought of the day:
The first person who decided crabs and lobsters were edible was either very brave, or very very crazy.
May 17, 2003
Happy Long Weekend
At what hour is it considered to be too early to be drinking? I bought some Smirnoff Ice Triple Black and didn't want to wait to try it. I'm halfway through a bottle. And I'm eating Miss Vickie's chips doused liberally with Mr. Goudas pepper sauce, so I'm plenty thirsty.
Bottomth up! :wodka
May 15, 2003
No fair
May 5, 2003
Happy Monday
Still a little bit sicky, but I've managed to put up the new layout so far. I haven't managed to make a dent in the dirty laundry pile that's threatening to eat up my closet. Priorities, you know.
April 21, 2003
Make up your mind
:hot or :cold? Mother Nature can't decide. She must be having nasty wicked PMS to send this kind of weather our way this week.
April 10, 2003
Free wash
I pulled up to my students' house today and M (aged early 20's and quite hot..but I digress) and his younger brother D (18-ish) were out front washing their cars.
Me: Hey, while you're at it, wash my car too!
M starts squirting tire cleaner shit on my tires.
Me: Oh my gawd, I was kidding.
M & D: We got one of those neato power washers, it rocks!
I remembered an old article by Linwood Barclay: Cleaning is boring, but add an element of danger to cleaning by using a power washer and you've got a job strong enough for a man.
I just laughed and went in to teach my lesson.
After the lesson, the Zorb-mobile was clean.
Desperately craving
a caffè mocha from Starbucks. :caffeine
April 3, 2003
Guilty As Charged
I'm feeling guilty:
1. For thinking CNN reporter Jason Bellini is teh hawt. As someone said to me yesterday, "It's ok, he's not evil, he's just a mouthpiece for Satan."
2. For being tempted by the cookies from Cookie It Up every time I go down to the kitchen.
3. For liking Mandy Moore's song "Only Hope" so much that I went out and bought the sheet music. I think I can sing it better than her though, and I'm willing to bet she isn't playing the piano herself on the recording and I can do both at the same time. I rock! *strut*
March 27, 2003
March 13, 2003
Some Advice
Don't ever taste even a tiny bit of Lush's Dream Time bath melt, no matter how good it smells. It didn't taste bad, like cocoa butter (which is the primary ingredient), but now my lips have gone strangely numb. :angryrazz
February 23, 2003
Mother Nature is a bitch
After teasing us winter-weary Ontarians with nice, warm springlike weather for the latter part of last week, she struck again with a vengeance. Mom and Dad woke me up from my sleep to tell me that the driveway was all iced up and I managed to get a ride from someone and make it to church. Seems like I spent a lot of time at church-related activities this weekend. Last night Dan braved the ice and snow to go to a dinner for the church volunteers.
press alt-f4 if you don't want to read mean people-bashing >>>
February 21, 2003
Friday Nothing
To keep up my streak of blogging every day in February, I'll just blog about how there's nothing worth blogging about today.
That is all.
February 17, 2003
Here, ratty ratty
Sega råttor - gummy rat candies from Ikea.
February 6, 2003
A bottle of Cutex for $20
When I was a young thang, I thought that nail polish was really expensive, because the only makeup I ever saw were the nice displays at the department store. So when Mom bought a bottle of polish I was shocked that she would spend so much.
January 25, 2003
Roses are peachy pink
January 23, 2003
Latin lesson
Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?
Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you happy to see me?