Giant honk-shus
This makes me happy.
January 12, 2008
This makes me happy.
May 11, 2007
SkinnyFat
"Being thin doesn't automatically mean you're not fat," said Dr. Jimmy Bell, a professor of molecular imaging at Imperial College, London, England. Without warning signals -- like a rounder middle -- doctors worry thin people may be lulled into falsely assuming that because they're not overweight, they're healthy. Even people with normal body mass index scores -- a standard obesity measure that divides your weight by the square of your height -- can have surprising levels of fat deposits inside.
Looking back, when I was 98 pounds and wearing a size 10 or 12, I was all kinds of unhealthy. Gawd, people, this should be obvious by now GET MOVING GET MOVING GET MOVING!
April 6, 2007
hahaha PWNED!!!!
I wouldn't work there if they paid me $50 an hour!
Oh and update to my personal Premier hell:
I received the refund through my credit card company in a very timely fashion. :o)
June 23, 2006
Battle of the Stank
Celebrity heiress Paris Hilton was in Toronto last weekend to attend the MuchMusic Video Awards, and while partying at the event she was photographed getting cozy with former Montreal Canadiens goalie Jose Theodore.
ew ew ew ew ew ew ewwwwwwwwwww! I wonder what smelled worse, her skanky cooter, or his hockey equipment?
April 21, 2006
Something Wall*Mart This Way Comes
"My view is Wal-Mart is not appropriate for those lands," he said, noting that a proper use of the site in question needs to be found. "That's the view I hope prevails but that needs to be backed up with good planning and technical study."- Burlington Mayor Rob MacIssac
This guy's got my vote. No more Mall*Warts in Burlington!
October 20, 2005
"Feed me!"
A company in Spokane, Wash., has developed a plant that releases text messages during the seven- to 10-day germination process that shows up on the plant's bud.
July 29, 2005
When piano teachers go bad
BRIDGETON, N.J. (AP) - A 16-year-old pianist is suing his music teacher for allegedly confronting him on stage during a Carnegie Hall competition and slamming the keyboard cover on his fingers as they argued over what piece he would play.
Geez, I'd have just sporked the kid! ♫♪
July 20, 2005
Maybe there is such a thing as a free lunch
FREE FOOD: To celebrate its 25th anniversary, the Newmarket branch of Manchu WOK will give away enough food to "feed the town." The campaign runs from 10:30 a.m. to 11 p.m. from July 21 to July 23. Customers of Canada's biggest fast food Chinese chain will be treated to a two-item meal plus fountain drink. Manchu WOK is at 18195 Yonge St. (at Green Lane). The chain says people can go through the line as many times as they like, and they'll have extra staff, seating, security and parking attendants. Customers are encouraged to donate $1 at the event for the Boys & Girls Club of Ontario.
June 24, 2005
Can we have the Irony tag, please?
Eco-raffle under fire for Hummer prize
And we ain't talkin' about blowjobs here, people.
May 23, 2005
Those naughty bears
Snuffy's cousin on wild rampage
In the end he fell asleep.But not before the teenage black bear led heavily armed police, natural resources ministry officers, even York Region's own police chief on a 12-hour catch-me-if-you can romp through downtown Newmarket.
For several hours, armed officers stood guard as natural resources ministry officers searched for the animal in a wooded area of Fairy Lake Park. Overhead, a York police helicopter scanned the dense bush with infrared cameras.
Fortunately, we did not see any bears when we were hanging out at the very same park on Saturday.
May 4, 2005
Oh happy joy
Did you know that everyone's favourite skank whore was in town yesterday?
April 19, 2005
A tie
I was hoping for either Pope Corn or Pope John Paul George Ringo.
April 2, 2005
Goodbye Pope
March 17, 2005
Bears, bears and bears, oh my!
Bush hates polarmabears. He wants to drill for oil in an Alaskan wildlife refuge, where cute fuzzy bears live. Won't someone please think of the bears?
If you go visit Churchill, Manitoba, the polar bear capital of the world, you'll be glad to know that "no one has been eaten since 1983." Excuse me, but Snuffy is hungry.
January 24, 2005
Welcome to the worst day of the year
Well, it's Monday, I'm bloated and have a headache. Happy birthday Bob!
[from CBC News]
WINNIPEG - Jan. 24 is the worst day of the year, with bad weather, debt, fading Christmas memories, failed resolutions and a lack of motivation combining to depress people.
Cliff Arnalls, an instructor at Cardiff University in Wales, came up with a formula to measure the wintertime blues, according to the BBC.
According to Arnalls' equation, misery peaks next Monday, Jan. 24, a month after Christmas.
January Blues Day Formula
1/8W+(D-d) 3/8xTQ MxNA.
Where: W: Weather D: Debt d: Money due in January pay T: Time since Christmas Q: Time since failed quit attempt M: General motivational levels NA: The need to take action
Arnalls calculated the effects of cold, wet – in the case of Britain – and dark January weather after the cosiness of Christmas coupled with extra spending in the sales.
Any energy from the holidays had worn off by the third week of January, he said.
By Monday, most people will have fallen off the wagon or abandoned the nicotine patches as they fail to keep New Year's resolutions.
That compounded a sense of failure and knocked confidence needed to get through January.
The fact that the most depressing day fell on a Monday was not planned, but a coincidence, Arnalls said.
January 21, 2005
Hockey Frashers
CALGARY - A study into why women flashed crowds of Calgary Flames fans during last year's NHL playoffs should shed light on current Canadian attitudes about female nudity, says a Calgary professor.
"There are gender role issues here," said Mary Valentich, of the University of Calgary's Faculty of Social Work.
"These women are doing something unconventional and yet they're using the traditional sexual route to express whatever they're expressing."
:boobies
January 5, 2005
Good cause
Anders Jacobsen: Webloggers: Give to tsunami victims and I'll give too!
International aid organizations:
UNICEF (United Nations Children's Fund)
United Nations' World Food Programme
Medecins Sans Frontieres / Doctors without Borders (donate!)
CARE International
The International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies
UK/Europe:
Disasters Emergency Comittee (DEC) - comprises a raft of aid agencies, including the below and others
British Red Cross
Oxfam
Save the Children UK
North America:
American Red Cross
Canadian Red Cross
Save The Children
Oxfam America
[originally linked from GTABloggers]
December 9, 2004
Swimming in Gravy
The World's Largest Poutine will be cooked up on Saturday December 11 from 2-4pm at Dundas Square in Toronto. It will consist of:
• 1520 fresh cut potatoes
• 88.5 litres of Trans fat free gravy
• 54 kilos of cheese curd
• cooked in Trans fat free sunflower oil
...for a total cooked weight of over 700 pounds! [from newyorkfries.com]
Oh my gaaaawwwd. It's been a long time since I've had some poutine greasy fry carb death. So their fries are now trans-fat free. Unfortunately, that still doesn't make them health food.
[link from Accordion Guy]
December 1, 2004
2 headed monster
Ummm, yeah.
October 26, 2004
No, stupid
It's about GETTING ACTIVE, not being good at sports! Dumbasses. Although, another step in the right direction.
October 20, 2004
School junk food ban
Critics, however, assailed the government for meddling in the business of parents and for ignoring a pressing funding crisis at Ontario schools.
Many parents I think, have no idea what their kids need to be healthy. More nutritional education for everyone. More PE, especially activities that focus on fitness rather than athleticism. (something that I never thought I'd say!) There's a lot of these grass-roots movements being made in the US, which include allowing kids to drink water or eat fruits and veggies at their desks and learning gardens & kitchens. It is too bad the government doesn't have the cash to implement such ideas and instead have to do the most lame of many possible solutions. Still, it's a start.
October 9, 2004
Who's next?
LONDON - "Harry Potter" author J.K. Rowling said Friday that one of her characters will not survive the next book in her series about the young wizard.
[full story]
She can't kill off anyone in The Trio, of course..I'm going to go out on a limb and put my vote in for a Weasley, but not Ron or Ginny. Let's say Arthur. He almost died in OoTP, right? I think Dumbledore will die, but not until the 7th book.
August 29, 2004
Anthem Flap
So, all this panty knot-tying over weird harmonies?!?! I would LOVE to know what the venerable Joe J. Ringhofer (my history/harmony/analysis teacher, current Chief Examiner of theory at the dastardly RCM - which means the man KNOWS HIS SHIT!) thinks about this.
my comment over at marmalade:
as a person who has a BA in music...the first version is "interesting". It's not necessarily bad, but if a theory student handed that in for an assignment, I'd still probably fail them :) the 2nd arrangement, too-slow tempo notwithstanding, is actually pretty good. There are some suspended chords that are just beautiful. Sometimes you gotta think outside the musical box a little, you know?
August 27, 2004
Make music, hike IQ
From the "let's call up Zorbs for some piano lessons" files:
Music lessons may boost IQ scores of children, suggests research by Dr. Glenn Schellenberg of the University of Toronto at Mississauga published in the journal Psychological Science.
The study of 6-year-olds found that those who took music lessons for one year gained more points on IQ tests. The benefit was small, but was seen in math, language and spatial skills.
May 29, 2004
Carrot Concerto in g minor
HAMBURG, Germany (Reuters) - The sound of 90 pounds of finely tuned cucumbers, leeks, potatoes, radishes, peppers, aubergines and marrows entertained a German audience at a weekend concert by the Viennese Vegetable Orchestra.
The nine-piece orchestra plays a range of original compositions on instruments constructed from vegetables -- including a flute made from a carrot, a saxophone carved out of a cucumber and a pumpkin converted into a double bass.
"I would never have thought you could get sound out of a cucumber," a young woman at the concert said. Others commented on the raw vegetable aroma accompanying the melodies.
The Austrian ensemble, three women and six men, said their instruments are freshly sliced and put together only an hour before each performance to enhance the sound. Size, texture and water content are vital to achieving the correct sound.
"Ordinary vegetables work better together than organic vegetables," said Matthias Meinharter, who plays a violin fashioned from leeks.
The musicians must also work against the clock. To protect their instruments from drying out during the performance, they place damp cloths around the vegetables when they're not in use.
At the end of the performance, the instruments were turned into vegetable soup.
[from Yahoo! News]
May 19, 2004
Don't let the carbs get you down
Happy, happy birthday to Dan!!
Does that mean she'll sing mushy love songs from now on?
• Avril Lavigne blames carbs for angsty lyrics
[from CarbWire and AccordionGuy]
I hope that Dan isn't insulted that I combined his birthday greetings with low carb news and AG...just didn't make sense to post twice...right?
May 7, 2004
Canadian Idol - hockey version
Move over Martin St.Louis, Ed Belfour and, yes, Simon Cowell and William Hung of American Idol fame.
Coming to CBC in September is Making the Cut, hockey's version of reality television. At stake are six spots at NHL training camps in 2005.
And, yes, one is with the Leafs.
If you're over 19 — man or woman, figure skater or midnight shinny star — and don't have a professional hockey contract, you can take your best shot at winning a spot as Mats Sundin's linemate.
I'm not sure if I want to laugh or cry. Maybe both. A female on an NHL team? The whole deal doesn't seem to make any sense.
April 16, 2004
But what about the ulcers?
Sports fans happier, healthier, experts say
As with religion, sport has its shrines, icons and rituals.
Wann and his colleagues have been collecting data on fan rituals for the last three years. "At least one out of four fans have something ritualistic or superstitious that they do," he says. "Lots involve clothes. And a lot of them involve pets. People shave, paint and make them wear clothes. Every time we get data, we say, `Jeez, leave the pet alone.'"
Wann's personal favourite in the latest data: "One lady, her superstition was that she had to make love before each game wearing the team jersey and one sock on each foot in each of the team colours. And the biggest sports fan around was her husband."
Does all this mean it's okay to treat the playoffs as a religious experience and to worship and adore Ed Belfour and Mats Sundin?
"We do treat these people like gods," agrees Vancouver psychologist Miller. {no comment :blush}
"For some people, they are the spiritual generators of the day."
I'll get my Blue & White on.
GO LEAFS GO!!! :leafs
February 13, 2004
In my Barbie world
So Barbie and Ken are splitsville.
Maybe Barbie got bored with Ken. Maybe she realized she didn't need a man in order to be happy. Maybe Ken came out of the closet.
Maybe Barbie got sick of Ken's lack of penis. Or, judging from the picture in the article, maybe Ken dumped Barbie for someone with a bigger pair of gazongas. :boobies
----
Happy 33rd birthday Mats! :birthday
February 11, 2004
flu - Looking on the bright side
Health Canada predicts 11,000 to 58,000 deaths in this country if a vaccine cannot be developed.
If I don't die myself, my funeral playing business could go WAAAAY up. Heh.
January 14, 2004
BMI - bullshit or helpful?
"In Asians, the respective BMI cut-off points should be set at between 22 and 25 for overweight, and 26 to 31 for obesity, the experts argue."
My current BMI is 21.2...only a hair below overweight. According to this "Asian BMI scale", my starting BMI would have put me at nearly obese. Lovely.
January 9, 2004
Put your hands in the air and drop that doughnut
Jail for 'diet doughnut' seller
An Illinois man begins a 15-month jail sentence on Tuesday - for misleading dieters into buying doughnuts.
December 17, 2003
Used Skivvies
VS, Saks, and Macy's reportedly resell returned and possibly worn underwear. Yummay. :covereyes
[link from One Girl's Life]
September 16, 2003
All We Got Is Da Bad Shit
OMG, this is the funniest thing I've read in awhile: :rotflmao
OTTAWA (AP) — Some of the first patients to smoke Health Canada's government-approved marijuana say it's "disgusting" and they want their money back.
"It's totally unsuitable for human consumption," said Jim Wakeford, 58, an AIDS patient in Gibsons, British Columbia.
Wakeford and Barrie Dalley, a 52-year-old Toronto man who uses marijuana to combat the nausea associated with AIDS, are returning their 30-gram bags, and Dalley is demanding his money back — $150 plus taxes. Wakeford is returning his unpaid bill for two of the bags with a letter of complaint.
Ten patients have registered with Health Canada to buy marijuana directly from the government to alleviate their medical symptoms. Another 39 applications are pending.
The department was compelled to begin direct distribution in July, following an Ontario court order this year that said needy patients should not be forced to get their marijuana on the streets or from authorized growers, who themselves obtain seeds or cuttings illegally.
The marijuana is being grown for Health Canada deep underground in a vacant mine section in Flin Flon, Manitoba, by Prairie Plant Systems on a $5.75-million contract.
No patients have complained directly to Health Canada so far, spokeswoman Krista Apse said, and the department will not accept returns or provide refunds.
September 6, 2003
Party Platforms
Although I'm cynical enough to believe that very few, if any, of the campaign promises made by the candidates in Ontario's upcoming provincial election will ever come to fruition, I am impressed at some of the statements made by Liberal leader Dalton McGuinty in this article:
"Haul out the junk-food vending machines — our schools will no longer be the suppliers of junk for recess."
Childhood obesity and general health and wellness for everyone are issues that I've recently become very passionate on. Why anyone would choose to be sedentary, eat junk, and cause themselves preventable health problems is beyond me.
"I want them [children] to become acquainted with music and art; I want them to participate in physical education; I'm looking for more than just automatons, I'm looking for citizens with an appreciation for other things which contribute to a richer society."
Being a musician and a music teacher, I am for anything that promotes the arts in the schools. School is not just about preparing for the work force and being part of The System.
Thirdly, his concern over The System churning out work drones is promising. I'm wondering where he stands on issues such as physical conformity, but it should go hand in hand with promoting free thinking.
August 31, 2003
Fat City
Did you know that St. Catharines, Ontario is the fattest city in Canada? and London is right up there too...not surprising then, that I gained 30 pounds in the 3 years that I lived there...
August 17, 2003
Not again
Ontario's Independent Electricity Market Operator said on Sunday the province had enough capacity to produce just above 20,000 megawatts of electricity on Monday, below the demand level of 22,000 megawatts to 24,000 megawatts.
So if you don't see me updating, I'm probably sitting in the dark again. Or I just don't have anything to say. :crossfingers
August 16, 2003
back in the light
So I'm sure you heard about the big blackout, we had no power Thursday night and it wasn't restored until late Friday afternoon. When the lights went out I actually thought it was the W32.blaster.worm, because it seems that your computer randomly shutting down is one of the signs that your system has been compromised, and I had just installed the patch, thinking, "WTF?!"
The hotel had power Friday and it was hot as hell so I went swimming and saw Shayne Corson working out as well so I got a nice picture with him. :leafs
Then I went over to the geekhaus because Dan said they had power in the morning but when I got there in the afternoon it had gone out again. Dan and Andy had just got back from rescuing Chris from Oakville because the GO trains weren't running and Steph had her latest boy toy over from Philly. Then we had to go find beer, and Chris and I went to 2 beer stores which were both closed before going to Steam Whistle. Steph had ordered pizza so we got pretty stuffed and drunk, then Tyler invited us over, which was good because it let Steph and Boy Toy have the house to themselves. :wink Tyler didn't have any beer, the only booze he had in the house was Dew and wodka so we drank several of those before going back to geekhaus and drinking MORE beers.
Crazy things we did when there was no power:
- Plugged in the stereo and speakers to the battery in Dan's car.
- Dan realized he had no coffee so he plugged the coffee grinder to the UPS. It didn't work very well, plus this was kind of unnecessary because Starbucks was actually still open.
Anyways, this morning I drove Andy to work because the subways aren't running until Monday and there is power here at home and my modem is working so hopefully this adventure is over until the next rolling blackout.
July 17, 2003
Get Wanking
A new study suggests frequent masturbation by men in their 20s provides protection against prostate cancer later in life.
Scientists in Australia determined that men in their 20s who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop aggressive prostate cancer later in life.
July 8, 2003
Not Like a Virgin
In the DUH!, could-that-be-any-more-obvious, how-fucking-stupid-are-you category, I present this:
Britney Spears Says She's Not A Virgin
:shocked
Now if only she'll admit for once and for all that her boobs are fake.
April 2, 2003
Look Ma, I'm a Terrorist!
I'm a towelhead with a WMD! (well a :spork anyways)
*ducks to avoid the missiles*
More funny shit: Krede Comes Clean
March 18, 2003
Perspective
Nice to know that in a world gone mad, USA Today still reports what's really important:
War Begins with Dubya
Prime Minister Jean Chretien receives a standing ovation yesterday from members of his caucus in the House of Commons after announcing Canada will not participate in a war on Iraq that does not have the support of the U.N. Security Council. The PM did not phone U.S. President George W.Bush to inform him of his decision, aides say. Foreign Affairs Minister Bill Graham said "the ambassador from the United States is quite capable of watching Canadian television," so they didn't need a phone call.
January 26, 2003
The Odd Couple
I never thought I'd be blogging about celebrity gossip, but here goes:
According to Page Six operatives at Camp Britney, she may have arrived at a party this weekend with several gal pals, but she was soon spotted with Fred [Durst] in a private VIP area of the party. To perhaps avoid the paparazzi, the two managed to make separate exits, but met up again at a private get-together in Deer Valley until the next morning. The creepy thing is, Justin was rumored to be in Sundance at the same time! Needless to say, tongues are a waggin'.
I have to go take a shower now, I feel dirty even after copying and pasting that blurb from MSN. Gotta finish laughing first though. :rotflmao
[originally spotted on invention13.net]
January 18, 2003
What's so civil 'bout war anyways?
i don't need your civil war
it feeds the rich while it buries the poor
your power hungry selling soldiers in a human grocery store
(ain't that fresh)
December 30, 2002
At the end of the day, this is an ugly boy
A TEENAGER who paid £90 to have his arm tattooed with Chinese characters got a shock when he learned the message read: 'At the end of the day, this is an ugly boy.'
Hairdresser Lee Becks thought he had Mandarin for 'Love, honour and obey' etched into his skin.
The 18-year-old found out that he had been tricked when he saw the effect it had on a woman serving at a Chinese take-away.
Ha, sucka!
[full story]
December 27, 2002
She's so right.
Amanda mentioned this yesterday as we were leaving the mall after our shopping spree: I don't think anyone would complain over people GLOBALLY adopting the practice of siesta. :sleeping I've got the post-lunch sleepies. I get them every day.
Unfortunately, napping isn't going to erase the fact that these crazies claim to have cloned a human.
I think it's pretty simple...
1. Thou shalt not kill in the name of God.
2. Thou shalt not play God.
End of story.
December 6, 2002
Spam King, begone!
Alan Ralsky, a notorious spammer, is whining because a horde of pissed off anti-spam /.ers has submitted his name to every snail mail junk mail scam imaginable. Will someone please tell the Scientologists that this fuckwad is eager to join? (he's certainly got the $$$)
Says he, "They've signed me up for every advertising campaign and mailing list there is. These people are out of their minds. They're harassing me."
Oh you POOR POOR MUFFIN!!!
[link from everyone's favourite geek, Wil Wheaton]
December 5, 2002
they must not have liked the köttbullar
Bombs have been found in several Dutch IKEA stores. WTF?
November 10, 2002
Why do they have to be this way?
from iam.the Eternal:
[Shannon's rant]
(you must be a member of iam.bmezine.com to access the links above)
I pierce in Lake County. The school district in Lake County is one of only three counties in the state of Florida that do not allow body piercings at school. A few days ago, it claimed a life. Robert pierced a girl's eyebrow recently, and she was suspended from school because of it. When she got home and informed her father, he yelled at and demeaned her for it. Shortly there-after, she went upstairs and shot herself in the head. A young life ended over an eyebrow piercing.
Part of me thinks that this could have had a dramatically better ending if her school hadn't denied her education over a piece of jewelry. Part of me wonders what the father feels like, now. I'm kind of torn up over the issue.
It is things like this that should make schools open their eyes to the issue of suspensions over piercings.
November 8, 2002
there's no crying in hockey
from Hormonal Bitch:
A Canadian father is suing the New Brunswick Amateur Hockey Association after his 16-year-old son failed to win the league's most valuable player award.
Oh cry me a river, build a bridge and get the fuck over it! Obviously the kid shouldn't get the MVP for lousy sportmanship. I bet the kid didn't win because he's just like his father and is a big fucking whiner. :disbelief
October 22, 2002
Only in Russia
A company commander has received a two-year suspended sentence after a military court in the Urals industrial centre of Yekaterinburg found him guilty of battering his subordinates with a ''black latex baton shaped like a male sex organ''. The soldiers, however, said at the hearing that the commander ''only hit them lightly''.
Geez, didn't that guy know how to properly use a dildo?
October 2, 2002
Ed rox mah sox
There's another high-profile candidate hoping to replace Ron MacLean at Hockey Night In Canada.
Ed the Sock, a ribald puppet better known for interviewing busty actresses and musicians than for his hockey savvy, is the runaway winner in a Star survey on who should replace MacLean as the foil for Don Cherry.
As Chris said yesterday after seeing Ron's picture on the front page of all 4 major newspapers, "It's obvious where our priorities are."
September 25, 2002
Huff Puff
I'm willing to bet that the "Million Pound March" was the most exercise most of these people have ever gotten in their lives.
July 24, 2002
Pope in Toronto
Call me crazy, but I am kinda sad that I don't get to go hear the Pope say Mass this Sunday.
Rejoice, and be glad
Blessed are you, holy are you
Rejoice, and be glad
Yours is the kingdom of God