Violence is Fun
I have weird friends...and weirder ex-students :devil
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July 27, 2003
Sexy Saturday - Week 22
Have you ever done something to impress someone and have your 'plan' backfire? What was it and how did the person you were trying to impress react? (ie Stuffed your bra/pants, cooked a romantic dinner and set the kitchen on fire)
Ummm...not really, and for that I am grateful!
July 24, 2003
More Adventures in Helltown
Two's a Crowd
So Vin and I got tickets for a show at Rockit, we get all dressed up, drive downtown and find out that the show is cancelled - we were the only people to show up for the concert. It would have been perfect to wrangle Ozzfest passes...but no luck.
review: Starbucks Tazo Black Tea Lemonade
Oh my god. Pure summer orgasmic refreshment bliss. Arriving at Starbucks hot and sweaty, a Tazo Black Tea Lemonade totally hit the spot. It was SO good, that I got another one a short while later. Thank god there are Starbucks at every fucking street corner in Toronto.
Another enthusiastic :spork:spork:spork:spork:spork/5
July 20, 2003
Sleep Problems
Friday night: Totally forgetting that I was at the Geekhaus, I let a long, loud (but not too smelly) one go while half asleep. Thankfully, I think teh Methos was sound asleep.
Last night: Again forgetting the situation (as is quite likely to happen when semi-conscious), I opened one eye to see Vin at the foot of my bed and I screamed bloody murder. Now I can't stop laughing when I think about it! :blush
I need more sleep.
July 17, 2003
Get Wanking
A new study suggests frequent masturbation by men in their 20s provides protection against prostate cancer later in life.
Scientists in Australia determined that men in their 20s who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop aggressive prostate cancer later in life.
July 16, 2003
Wimps
The many who are whining about the ban on blankets, chairs, coolers, and umbrellas at SARSfest II are wimps. WIMPS I tell you!
Ahh, how I remember Ozzfest 2001...10+ hours in the burning sun at The Docks. Chairs and blankets are for the old and infirm. Lace up your comfy shoes and suck it up, concert-goers!
July 15, 2003
I Love Little Pussy
In some older piano method books, there are some antiquated/non-PC song lyrics and titles. Example seen today: I Love Little Pussy.
Sportsnet Sucks
My email, filled with barely suppressed rage:
Your non-disclosure of the 30 minute delay of the MLB Home Run Derby was dishonest to say the least. In this day and age, sports are expected to be live. The delay made following the derby on the internet with friends who were watching in the US confusing and disappointing when I finally realized that I was watching footage that had been broadcast 30 minutes ago to the US. It ruined the suspense of the final round, and my entire evening as well.
And what the fuck is this about Zito being booted off the team in favour of Clemens?
raiderfreak4eva says:
clemens had something to do with it
raiderfreak4eva says:
that fucker
Zorbs says:
everything fishy has something to do with Clemens
raiderfreak4eva says:
yep
Zorbs says:
mom says you have a point.
raiderfreak4eva says:
there was a reason clemens wasn't on that list
raiderfreak4eva says:
the fans didn't think he belonged
raiderfreak4eva says:
the AL manager didn't think he belonged
raiderfreak4eva says:
wtf?
Zorbs says:
becuase he's an old fart and not having the greatest season anyways
raiderfreak4eva says:
he thinks he's God or something...he probaby thinks he DESERVES to be in any major game that MLB has to offer
raiderfreak4eva says:
watch..the yankees don't make the world series..and they boot out the Mariners or some team just because Clemens says they belong
Zorbs says:
"uhh, sorry you're not allowed to go to the playoffs, because Roger says so"
July 13, 2003
Zip it
Today at church B had just returned from going up to the front to sing the psalm when I noticed something not-quite-right.
"psst!!" I hissed, making a subtle "pull it up" gesture.
Later, at the gym, a guy who was also at Mass said to me, "So you were on zipper patrol this morning, huh?"
I always find it to be a moral dilemma whether it's more embarrassing to tell a person that their fly is unzipped or to let them walk around with it wide open.
What would you do?
July 12, 2003
Sexy Saturday - Week XX
Sexy Saturday either ors:
1. Oral or Vaginal?
Put it in me, baby.
2. Hour long sweat session or quickie?
A marathon. I haven't had one of those in years!
3. Missionary or Doggie?
Most of the time, I'd say missionary. I like doggie if I'm in that kind of raunchy mood. Once I got it doggie style while wearing a short white dress. It was a most interesting mix of purity/sluttiness.
July 11, 2003
Technology Dumbass
One thing you probably would never suspect about me:
I don't know how to operate a VCR or a cell phone.
July 10, 2003
Nefarious plots revealed
As alluded to earlier in the week, here is my nefarious plot, revealed. :devil
I have a couple of new students to teach in 15 minutes. New students make Zorbie nervous!
Anyways, here's the Private Entry.
July 09, 2003
Off Season
Inspired by Amanda's Sharks quiz entry, I had to search Quizilla for one more suitable for me...and yes, I did have to skew the results a bit! (but only one question) :mischievious
You are #13 Mats Sundin! As the first non-North American captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs, you are not only a superstar, but also a great leader both on and off the ice. You like to lead by example, and you are respected and loved by both fans and teammates for your grace, class, and selflessness.
July 08, 2003
Not Like a Virgin
In the DUH!, could-that-be-any-more-obvious, how-fucking-stupid-are-you category, I present this:
Britney Spears Says She's Not A Virgin
:shocked
Now if only she'll admit for once and for all that her boobs are fake.
ugh, blah, feh
I've got a lot to worry about lately and it doesn't help that tonight I have to tell one of my students that unless she gets her ass in gear there's no way in hell I'm going to let her take the piano exam in a month. There are 2 major problems here:
1. Her younger sister has already taken this exam, so delaying it will put her further behind.
2. Her mom is a neurotic freak who insists that they do exams quickly, against my better judgement, because I think slow and steady is the way to do things.
So I sense some sturm und drang in the near future. I'm also planning something nefariously evil, expect a private post about it soon.
July 05, 2003
random phallic objects
[from Horizontal Stripes]
Fat clogs the brain
Today before the wedding I was feeling a slight craving for some greasy goodness. But I wasn't going to cave into an entire grease orgy.
I noticed recently that KFC added some real salads (as opposed to the processed crap) to their menu and figured I'd try one instead of having fries to keep the rest of my meal as healthy as possible.
So I ordered a popcorn chicken combo with 2 substitutions:
i) the salad instead of fries
ii) water instead of pop
Her: I'll have to charge you an extra 50 cents for that water.
Me: You're going to charge me 50 cents for tap water?
Her: You want tap water?!?! (looking incredulous that someone doesn't want to drink sugary pop)
Me: :grr Yes!
Interminable wait while chicken is being cooked.
I see in the bag that she's put in one of those coleslaw things.
Me: No no, I want one of those salads with real veggies! And by the way, what kinds of dressings do you have?
Her: I have fatty Italian and fatty Caesar.
Me: Ugh, can I have some plain vinegar please?
Her: We don't have any.
Me: WHAT?! You seriously don't have vinegar? (KFC not having vinegar is like KFC not having ketchup - impossible!)
Her: Nope.
Me: If I wanted vinegar for my fries, what would you give me?
Her: holds up vinegar packet.
Me: THAT'S WHAT I WANTED ALL ALONG!
I couldn't hold it in any longer.
"Goddamnit, you are fucking stupid!"
Me: (thinking) You don't have to wait till I leave to call me a bitch. Say it to my face!
For a good laugh
Presenting...the friendly neighbourhood Ghetto Church! :rollseyes
July 04, 2003
mess the hair
There is obviously something VERY WRONG with a person who owns a fancy schmancy convertible and doesn't put the lid down on a day like today.
July 03, 2003
ghetto is as ghetto does
OK, here's a new layout.
Today I went to a church to practice for a wedding. (that will take place on Saturday) The cantor described the place as 'ghetto'. The strangest thing is that I've always thought this church looked really nice from the street. It has 4 white columns outside and looks somewhat like a mansion. But the inside...oh god...it had orange shag carpeting. And a sound system that was so horrid, it would make Andrew scream for mercy. Even the one redeeming semi-cool factor - a slide room painted black with a large translucent projection screen covering one wall was kind of sleazy - when the slide projector was on, the fact that you could see silhouettes in the main sanctuary reminded me of a 25 cent peep show: pop in the coins, the lights turn on and the screen raises to show the nekkid dancing chick.
I will get some pictures of this place before the wedding. Because you have to see it to believe it.
July 02, 2003
It's so easy
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July 01, 2003
The true North, strong and free
:canada