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January 31, 2003

Not the competitive type

I did something yesterday that I haven't done since 1994 - I signed up to compete in the Newmarket Lions Club Music Festival. I am horrible when playing in front of people, but I really need the practice prior to my exam, which will occur this June. It is the last music exam I have to complete, as I did all the theory and history co-requisites years ago, and a total monkey on my back. So if I don't pass this exam, it's the equivalent of being one final exam short of being able to put a bachelor's degree after your name.

I last attempted the exam in 1997, the summer before starting university and I failed only by about 5%, the examiners are notorious for being assholes, and since I was on the borderline, I suppose I didn't charm them enough to pass me. It's no wonder I have nightmares all the time about the university suddenly discovering that I didn't complete my course requirements to earn my degree, and that 'they' are after me to take back my diploma.

Then I wake up in a cold sweat.

January 29, 2003

Thank God I'm not ME

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[link from everything falls]

NO WISHLIST

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Is this really that hard to comprehend? My wishlist is not linked to any page on any of my domains. You'd think that by making my list p r i v a t e people would get the clue that I don't want stuff!!!! A person has to spend a lot of time searching amazon.com to find my list. I just made my list un-searchable so hopefully I won't get anymore presents from people. Getting this present has totally ruined my whole fucking day. Thanks a lot, asshole! :furious

January 28, 2003

A fighter, or a lover?

I was watching Sportsnet News yesterday morning and they showed footage of Matthew Barnaby getting the shit beat out of him, and looked like he was enjoying himself immensely - in fact, it looked like he was having an orgasm.

January 26, 2003

The Odd Couple

I never thought I'd be blogging about celebrity gossip, but here goes:

According to Page Six operatives at Camp Britney, she may have arrived at a party this weekend with several gal pals, but she was soon spotted with Fred [Durst] in a private VIP area of the party. To perhaps avoid the paparazzi, the two managed to make separate exits, but met up again at a private get-together in Deer Valley until the next morning. The creepy thing is, Justin was rumored to be in Sundance at the same time! Needless to say, tongues are a waggin'.

I have to go take a shower now, I feel dirty even after copying and pasting that blurb from MSN. Gotta finish laughing first though. :rotflmao

[originally spotted on invention13.net]

January 25, 2003

Roses are peachy pink

I'd like to imagine that these beayuuuu-tiful roses were given to me by the wonderful Göran, unfortunately, the truth is that I bought them for myself. At the grocery store.

January 24, 2003

Friday Five - 1/24/2003

Friday Five: (only because I'm bored out of my tree)

1. What is one thing you don't like about your body?
My GUT. It has improved a bit in the past 2 1/2 years since I started working out. I guess I'm just not meant to have washboard abs. :cry

2. What are two things you love about your body?
My :boobies and my quads. (you know where to find boob pics if you really wanna see)

3. What are three things you want to change about your home?
I'd make it look all Shabby Chic (tm).

4. What are four books you want to read this year?
I don't read books. Really, I don't. Magazines are a guilty pleasure of mine.

5. What are five promises you have kept to yourself?
hmmm, I used to have all these 'solemn vows' that I made to myself, now I can't remember any of them. :biting

January 23, 2003

Latin lesson

Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?
Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you happy to see me?

Si hoc legere scis, nimium eruditionis habes. :laugh

January 22, 2003

When the weather is sunny and cold..

the best thing to do is to find an outdoor rink to skate on.
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January 21, 2003

Woooa oh oh oh...

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You are Sweet Child O' Mine! You are happy and nice on the outside, but on the inside you have a lot of pain.

[link from SilverJen's LJ]

January 20, 2003

I have to admit I cheated, a little bit

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You are a spork! You are a mismatched hodgepodge of a personality, and as such, utterly useless.

[link from Amanda's LJ]

Lighter side

Remember the poor island monkey who got a tattoo that said, "At the end of the day, this is an ugly boy"?


[thanks to Vin for finding this on Something Awful]

January 19, 2003

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

"You cannot qualify war in harsher terms than I will. War is cruelty, and you cannot refine it; and those who brought war into our country deserve all the curses and maledictions a people can pour out."

Gen. William Tecumseh Sherman
Letter to Mayor Calhoun of Atlanta and others
September 12, 1864

I was remembering an essay that I wrote for my grade 10 history final, in which I discussed the famous quote, "war is hell" and in doing research came up with the quote posted above instead.

You'd be blind not to see the irony in the quotation. Written by one of the most famous American generals of all time, it holds as much relevance and truth today as it did 140 years ago. Only now, the United States are the aggressors; they demand nuclear disarmament while they themselves threaten other countries.

All this has been repeated countless times recently. With the world at the brink of war and it is time for Americans, especially the 88% who support invading Iraq to take a closer look at what is really going on.

My initial reaction to the 9-11 attacks was shock, sadness. When I heard al-Qaeda's reasons for the attacks, I then thought...they actually have some legitimate gripes. While I think that violence is NEVER the answer, the United States' collective ethnocentricism has gone on for long enough.

To quote from John Le Carré's article again:

The religious cant that will send American troops into battle is perhaps the most sickening aspect of this surreal war-to-be. Bush has an arm-lock on God. And God has very particular political opinions. God appointed America to save the world in any way that suits America. God appointed Israel to be the nexus of America’s Middle Eastern policy, and anyone who wants to mess with that idea is a) anti-Semitic, b) anti-American, c) with the enemy, and d) a terrorist.

God also has pretty scary connections. In America, where all men are equal in His sight, if not in one another’s, the Bush family numbers one President, one ex-President, one ex-head of the CIA, the Governor of Florida and the ex-Governor of Texas.

Care for a few pointers? George W. Bush, 1978-84: senior executive, Arbusto Energy/Bush Exploration, an oil company; 1986-90: senior executive of the Harken oil company. Dick Cheney, 1995-2000: chief executive of the Halliburton oil company. Condoleezza Rice, 1991-2000: senior executive with the Chevron oil company, which named an oil tanker after her. And so on. But none of these trifling associations affects the integrity of God’s work.

To sum it up, the world has realized that the Great American Way is NOT the only way of doing things, and they are fighting back. I don't think that this looming war is about oil as it is about power: the United States playing the big bully in the schoolyard, terrorizing all who are smaller and supposedly weaker than them. Now the children have banded together and the bullies are scared. So they threaten war. But there are no good wars and there is no such thing as bad peace, to paraphrase another great American, Benjamin Franklin. So the Bushies say, "if you aren't with us, you're against us". Go ahead and call me a terrorist, but I truly believe that to wage war on Iraq would be a heinous crime, and those who wage that war truly do "deserve all the curses and maledictions a people can pour out."

Disclaimer/Post Script: Those of you who know me well know that the world really has to be balancing precariously on the verge of the apocalypse to make me write such a politically charged post such as this one. So before you press the button to flame me, remember the great commandment, Love One Another. Remember, this is my opinion; my blog on MY domain that's paid for by MY hard earned money..flames are not welcome here and any comments may be deleted. Now, back to your regularly scheduled Z o r bl o g stupidity. :smile

Losing Hab-it

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Bea!! :mischievious

January 18, 2003

What's so civil 'bout war anyways?

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i don't need your civil war
it feeds the rich while it buries the poor
your power hungry selling soldiers in a human grocery store
(ain't that fresh)


January 17, 2003

Less hot, more cold

After yesterday's post about the weather, I was highly amused to read about the terrible weather in Tampa, where the temperature is a bone-chilling 32˚F (0˚C)

People have been telling me that they wouldn't want to live in a place where they have to deal with -20˚C weather, but get this: Canadians derive part of their sense of national identity by complaining about the weather. The local news reports of 50 car pileups in the US in 2 millimetres of snow and we laugh.

:canada

In the TMI category, I have managed to strain my forearm muscle wanking. And aggravated it at the gym yesterday doing punching. It's appropriate, I suppose, since at this class there were 3 stations, doing jabs, uppercuts and hooks. The instructor came over to make sure the group doing hooks was doing them correctly. "OK, you hookers!"

:laugh

January 16, 2003

Hot & Cold

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Seems like it's gonna be cold enough to freeze your bootay off the next few days. The forecast doesn't show next Tuesday yet, though.

Last week, it was cold (although not as cold as the next few days are supposed to be) so I'm wearing a thick chenille sweater with a cowl neck out to teach. I teach these brothers for an hour each. I just started teaching them, but their house already annoys me because someone either bathes in cheap perfume or they use too much air freshener. So it's really stinky in there.

This week, I walk in and not only is it stinky, it's fucking boiling in there. The thermostat is right next to the piano and i see it's 25 DEGREES CELCIUS in there.

By the end of the 2nd lesson, I literally couldn't put a coherent sentence together because the heat and the stench were getting to me so badly.

:hot :cold

In all fairness

So the guys don't feel left out or anything:

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This girl wants big fake hoohoos. Pathetic loser! Everyone knows that the cool girls have them naturally. :boobies

January 14, 2003

I love you, you love me

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I :hearts Amanda because she's signed my guestbook more times than I can count on one hand.
- she manages to get hockey tickets and takes me
- she likes to shop and hang out in tattoo studios as much as I do

I :hearts Babs because she listens to me bitch about CSS issues
- she shares warez with me (heh)
- understands the importance of taking a good mental health day once in awhile

I :hearts Bea because she is becoming very very Canadian :canada
- she laughs at everything I say
- she links to cool stuff on her blog

There are a lot more reasons why I wub them, but these will suffice for now.

January 13, 2003

Adventures in Accompanying

Last night, the same woman who tracked in crap all over my front hall phoned. I thought she was calling to confirm that her son's violin exam (that I am accompanying) was at the church that's a 5 minute drive from my house.

Here's where it gets funny.

Turns out that somehow when they filled out the exam application, she managed to put Barrie instead of Newmarket, which is about an hour north of here. When the exam centre listings are in alphabetical order, I don't even see how that is even possible, but she somehow managed it. Fortunately she offered to drive me there as well and pay me extra, or else she'd be even more frantically trying to find a new accompanist this morning.

What's worse is the weather today SUCKS - 10 cm. of snow here, probably more up in Barrie, and cold enough to freeze your knockers off (judging from the poll results you guys liked the term 'knockers', right?)

So I'm waiting for her to come pick me up, I'm sure I'll have more stories to tell when I get home later. Hopefully I'll make it home in one piece, because although I haven't seen her car, she exudes an aura of being an SUV-driving maniac. LOVELY!

update: this is the view from my window. It's not a blurry pic. The white is SNOW. :cold

January 12, 2003

Keep it clean

Those of you who live in snowy locales know that keeping the doorway free of slush, snow, and other assorted crud during the winter is a real challenge. However, at my house, we have gratuitous amounts of floor mats near the door.

The mother of a student just came in and got water all over the linoleum. It's not like there was a herd of people coming in at the same time - would it have been so damn difficult for her to stay on the fucking carpet? :grr

January 11, 2003

Healthy eating - an impossible goal

If you remember, one of my new years' resolutions was to eat healthier. It is SO DAMN HARD. Everything is bad for you!

Today, so far I've eaten 3 clementines, a ham and cheese sandwich, and a bowl of chicken gumbo soup.

According to caloriechart.org, tangerines (they don't have clementines) contain 0 grams of fat and 35 calories each.

The label for the chicken gumbo says there's 3.3 grams of fat and 88 calories.

Ham has 4 grams of fat. But the 2 (very thin) slices of cheese had 14 grams of fat each!

I guess the fact that I spent 90 minutes at the gym working at about 80% efficiency is all bullshit.

Bulimia seems like the only viable alternative now. :puke

Well, i'm off to stick my finger down my throat.

January 10, 2003

Ouchie no more

I've always worn hard contacts (since fall 1996). But lately they have been so irritating that I haven't been able to keep them in for more than an hour or so. So today I finally got soft contacts. Why didn't anyone tell me they're so comfortable?!

But shit, they are expensive. :dead

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January 09, 2003

Quick Poll

we in #thepark want to know..

Fair warning

I got a new purple friend. He's waterproof!

obviously, this is not suitable for work.

[there are no kids or parents or jealous spouses or bosses lurking nearby]

January 08, 2003

Armed only with a spork

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January 07, 2003

Check your vision

Like Firda, I was surprised to discover that I have some vision problems.

Take the Color Vision Deficiency Test to see if you're all good.

Updated wallpaper

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January 06, 2003

Water water water


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Which "Natural Wonder" are you?

[link from Maddy's Rambles]

Monday I'm in love

Mozilla is dangerously close to becoming my new favourite browser.

*switches back to IE* except that the bold, italic, underline, URL buttons and my beloved smilies don't show up in the MT editing window! :brokenheart

But oh, Mozilla, I do love you for blog browsing! :hearts

January 05, 2003

Another great idea

She's done it again - a webring for users of blogrolling.com! Go check it out...now now now!

January 04, 2003

COOOOOKIE!!

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Yes, cookies *are* good. But too much of anything is never a good thing. Instead of bingeing and purging, try to regulate your eating habits. Maybe instead of having two dozen cookies, you could have two. Also, you should slow down your eating. Chew each bite several times before swallowing. Eating more slowly makes it easier to tell when you are full. And don't worry about body image--people love you just the way you are, googly eyes and all.

[link from BeaLog]

I noticed that Bea also mentioned a bit about new year's resolutions in her post - I decided I do have a couple, after all.

* practice better dental hygiene
* control food portions and junk food intake
* be nicer to people I care about

January 03, 2003

Things that are SO wrong on so many levels

No, you aren't seeing things. That is a vibrating polar bear sex toy. Amanda and I saw this little toy at Seduction today. I guess for some people it wouldn't be any weirder than the chili pepper toy set. :grin

[pics of us from today]

The other day, I witnessed an odd conversation about the joys of dumpster diving. I Googled the phrase and came up with this description. To quote someone in chat, "What's the matter, Wal-Mart too expensive for you?" For the love of Jeebus, if it was in the garbage, leave it in there, especially if it's food... :puke

January 01, 2003

Party People In Da House

I walked the fine line between happy drunkenness and total inebriation and WON!, said the hangover-free Zorbs.

As for New Years resolutions, I'll just quote/paraphrase elwood: 1024x768 or higher. 3 megapixels or more please! :pleased