Z o r bl o g

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ICQ History Log For:
Nataly
Started on Fri May 02 00:08:51 2003
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Zorbs 01/05/20 10:46 PM so part of my job i have to play some songs in
different keys

Zorbs 01/05/20 10:46 PM and the kids are supposed to bring me
music...but i stopped asking them because they
weren't bringing it and it was annoying me

Zorbs 01/05/20 10:47 PM so this teacher gave me all the stuff i needed
- minus a few who had already brought me the
music

Zorbs 01/05/20 10:48 PM the music that the students brought themselves
don't have any key changes listed on them

Zorbs 01/05/20 10:49 PM it is really not my job to ask for key changes
because some of the kids are too
young./inexperienced to understand about that.
so the first day i played some stuff in the
wrong key because i didn't know how to work
the (electric) keyboard properly

Zorbs 01/05/20 10:50 PM my teacher set me straight, i apologized to
the teacher. problem solved. although i still
feel bad because if i had played in the proper
key perhaps the student would have placed
better.

Zorbs 01/05/20 10:51 PM i felt bad about playing it wrong, but lesson
learned, i won't do it again.

Zorbs 01/05/20 10:52 PM i'm also not a mind reader - if the music
doesn't have anything written on it re changes
i won't know to make the changes, especially
if the student doesn't tell me anything during
the rehearsal

Zorbs 01/05/20 10:53 PM on tuesday, i sucked as well note wise...off
day

Zorbs 01/05/20 10:54 PM i was upset that they expected me to know all
this but oh well shit happens.

so i thought it was over.

Nataly 01/05/20 10:56 PM thought being the key word, obviously.

Zorbs 01/05/20 10:56 PM today, this teacher reminded me to play
something in the transposed key.

me: sure, no problem, i always play it on the
keyboard
(meaning: i always play it on the keyboard, i
KNOW it's in a different key, end of story)
teacher: don't give me that attitude

Zorbs 01/05/20 10:57 PM as i said, that was just an honest comment,
NOT meant to be bitchy or sarcastic.

Nataly 01/05/20 10:58 PM I think she was probably having an off day
too! that's an honest comment!

Zorbs 01/05/20 10:58 PM if i had said, "yeah YEAH I KNOW" in a very
pissed off tone, I'd consider that to be
bitchy and a bad attitude.

Nataly 01/05/20 10:59 PM I agree!

Zorbs 01/05/20 10:59 PM so i was understandable very VERY VERY VERY
VERY upset by this

and she said, "oh yeah and your tempos
(speeds) are all messed up too. see thaty ou
don't do it again"

Zorbs 01/05/20 11:01 PM this is highly insulting, considering paul
(whose u of toronto audition i played for
yesterday) said that i'm the ONLY accompanist
he's ever had who plays things at the tempo
that he wants them.

Nataly 01/05/20 11:01 PM I know tempos! that's probably the only thing
I remember about music class. that and
fortissimo, and pianissimo.

now I really think she was the one being the
bitch. that was quite uncalled for.

Zorbs 01/05/20 11:02 PM i am very hard on myself for these things,
there is nothing i want more for these kids to
do well. when people are accusing me of doing
shit that isn't my fault, i am not fucking
happy!

Nataly 01/05/20 11:03 PM I'd be pretty pissed too.

Zorbs 01/05/20 11:03 PM i didn't even get a chance to tell her that i
didn't do one of the key changes because it
wasn't on the music that the student gave me.
and like i said, NO ONE TOLD ME SO WHAT THE
FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

Nataly 01/05/20 11:04 PM after the festival, I think I'd talk to her
about that. but that's just me. show her the
sheet. tell her this is what you had for this
kids music and that it had no key changes. you
had no way of knowing.

Zorbs 01/05/20 11:04 PM but at the point i thought it was pointless to
argue, she'd probably say, "oh i told you on
the phone don't you remember?"

I'm SURE she never told me on the phone, i'd
have remembered it.
but i didn't say anything because i'd come
across sounding defensive, and something truly
bitchy might slip out.

Zorbs 01/05/20 11:05 PM I want to. But I'll sound defensive I think.

Nataly 01/05/20 11:05 PM don't get me started on the whole 'defensive'
thing.

Nataly 01/05/20 11:05 PM maybe not after you've cooled off a bit.

Zorbs 01/05/20 11:06 PM she seems to have set her mind against me. I
think it might be too late to say anything.

Nataly 01/05/20 11:06 PM ah. then she's the bitch.

Zorbs 01/05/20 11:07 PM i know that. but these people have a way of
making everything be the other person's fault.

Zorbs 01/05/20 11:07 PM after i finished my classes for the morning, i
went home and cried.

Nataly 01/05/20 11:07 PM :(
I would probably have cried there.

Zorbs 01/05/20 11:08 PM i almost did on tuesday.

Zorbs 01/05/20 11:08 PM anyways, at home i decided not to talk to this
bitch because it would be fruitless.

but my piano teacher is good friends with her,
i had to make *someone* see my side

Zorbs 01/05/20 11:09 PM so after lunch i found my piano teacher and
told her the same shit and i bawled again

Nataly 01/05/20 11:10 PM what did your teacher say?

Zorbs 01/05/20 11:11 PM she said i was doing fine

Nataly 01/05/20 11:12 PM so she would back you up, you think?

Zorbs 01/05/20 11:12 PM yes.

she said, I've known you for more than 10
years and as a fellow pianist, i say you're
doing fine.

Nataly 01/05/20 11:13 PM good.!

Zorbs 01/05/20 11:15 PM anyways....so i had my solo tonight

Nataly 01/05/20 11:15 PM how did that go?
is this voice or piano?

Zorbs 01/05/20 11:15 PM for a person with not a lot of self confidence
to begin with...

Zorbs 01/05/20 11:15 PM piano...it went BAD.

Nataly 01/05/20 11:15 PM :(

Zorbs 01/05/20 11:16 PM so i've been sort of meaning to do this exam.
it's the only one i have left. i attempted it
back in 1997 and failed. but i've had nagging
self doubts since then. i don't have problems
with nervousness while accompanying

Nataly 01/05/20 11:17 PM but solo is MUCH different.

Zorbs 01/05/20 11:17 PM totally, completely.

Zorbs 01/05/20 11:18 PM chris is going to call me.

Zorbs 01/05/20 11:19 PM the gist of it being, i want to quit piano and
not try for thsi exam, it's futile.

Nataly 01/05/20 11:19 PM oh! no! you can't do that! Chris will tell
you!! he calling right now?

Zorbs 01/05/20 11:19 PM yes

Zorbs 02/05/20 12:01 AM still on the phone

Nataly 02/05/20 12:03 AM he making you feel any better?

Zorbs 02/05/20 12:04 AM fuck yes

Nataly 02/05/20 12:05 AM good!!! :)
so you're still going to take the exam?

I'm due to go to church. I'll say a prayer for
you if you do O-)

Zorbs 02/05/20 12:05 AM no...i am NOT doing the exam.

Zorbs 02/05/20 12:05 AM the solo made it painfully clear

Nataly 02/05/20 12:06 AM ok :)